? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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