Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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