im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
