you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
