Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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