Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
