Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I smell stomach acid.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
