If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I deserve this hangover.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
