i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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