I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
