i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
