my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
