But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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