if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
