My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize