She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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