Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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