Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
