I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
