girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize