i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
