READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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