dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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