Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
