the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
