I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
