I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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