Walk of Shame. In a state park.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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