that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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