You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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