Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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