Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
