I think I am morally bankrupt
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
