Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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