you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
