it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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