u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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