remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
