We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
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Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
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Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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