just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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