You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
