but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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