I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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