Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
