No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
