So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
