If i come over, it means nothing
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Randomize
