I CAN MOONWALK!
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
