Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
