you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
