remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
