My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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