are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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