I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize