What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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