if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
