Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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