So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I need moral support for this bender
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
