U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
